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Carefully Couched
}} The IFCC hints at their larger scheme, and Sabine communicates with Qarr across the planar divide to check on Nale's welfare. Cast * Durkon Thundershield (as vampire) ◀ ▶ * Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶ * Inter-Fiend Cooperation Commission ** Lee ◀ ▶ ** Nero ◀ ▶ ** Cedrik ◀ ▶ * The Linear Guild ** Nale ◀ ▶ ** Sabine ◀ ▶ ** Zz'dtri ◀ ▶ ** Malack ◀ ▶ ** Qarr ◀ ▶ * Spiky the Barbed Devil ◀ ▶ * Zz'dtri's Piscodaemon ◀ ▶ Transcript Somewhere in the Abyss, the IFCC toasts their success, while Sabine sits on a couch watching the action on the Prime Material Plane. Vaarsuvius is still strapped to a table, but the table has been placed next to Sabine on the couch. Lee: Gentlemen! A toast to good timing— Cedrik: —and making opportunities. Nero: Cheers. They clink glasses of champagne, "clink! clink! clink!" Vaarsuvius: Then that was your goal all along? To destroy the Gate? To what end? Lee: While we certainly enjoy exploiting your actions... Cedrik: We have no interest in explaining our own. Nero: Figure it out yourself. Vaarsuvius: Do they intend to release the Snarl and destroy the planet? But I fail to see how that will benefit them, since it annihilates the souls of those it kills. Blackwing: Maybe they know something about the planet in the Rift? They could be after the souls that live there. Lee: When he said "Figure it out yourself," he meant on your own time. Cedrik: Don't spoil our celebration with your rampant speculation. Nero: Gag. Gags magically appears over Varsuvius' and Blackwing's mouths. Sabine: Don't feel bad, elf. I'm totally on their team and I only know half of what's going on. Sabine: I mean, planet in the Rift? News to me. Sabine: I've seen them take down more righteous mortals than you, too, if that helps. Sabine: Director Lee sets up the traps and Cedrik springs them when his gut tells them the time is right. And Nero keeps them working together. Sabine: It's scary effective. Sabine: When you've got pawns on every team, it's easy to fix the game, you know? Sabine: Even if you don't know what the game's going to be. When they first sent us to Tarquin's— A cell phone stuck in the couch cushions rings, "brrrng! brrrng!" Sabine: Oooo! I need to get that!! Sabine: Hello? Did you get them out? Sabine: Yes, the elf is right here, now answer me! Cut to the Windy Canyon where Qarr is speaking magically to Sabine while Nale stands in the background. Qarr: Don't get your tail in a knot. Qarr: I got your precious boyfriend out of the pyramid as soon as it started shaking. Qarr: Buncha rocks to the face, but they're all fine. Cut back to the couch in the Abyss. Sabine: OK, tell him that I love him, and give him lots of hugs and kisses, and tell him not to try to— A "click!" comes from the cell phone. Sabine: Hello? HELLO? Cut back to the Windy Canyon. Zz’dtri: ?? Qarr: Oh, nothing, I was just talking to a... telemarketer. Nale: I can't believe—how did he—so the Gate was in the— Nale: GREENHILT!! Durkon: Should we start looking for the second pyramid now, Master? Malack: No. D&D Context * Gag is not a real D&D spell. It is of unknown level, but apparently causes a gag or piece of tape to appear over the target's mouth. It is included in this strip as a joke. * The IFCC represents fiends from all three Evil alignments, but the presence of Sabine, who was banished to her home plane in #860, confirms that Vaarsuvius is being held on the plane of the Abyss, the plane of pure Chaotic Evil. Thus when Lee said "Welcome to Hell" in #897, it was metaphorical, not an indication that they were on the plane of the Nine Hells of Baator. * Qarr and Sabine's interplanar cell phone conversation is not a canonical D&D spell, but again a magical gag used for the comic. Trivia * The title is a pun on the word "couched", the first meaning is to arrange or frame words in a sentence, the second is the piece of furniture on which Vaarsuvius rests. * The fiends were summoned back in #883, Fiend Swap. External Links * 903}} Read the comic * 293701}} Read the discussion thread Category:Uses Gag Category:Tarquin's Breakdown